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Lady & Her Duck

A lady brings a duck into the veterinary clinic and says: “I think my duck is dead”. So the veterinarian takes a look at the duck, examines its heart, checks from head to tail and remarks: “Lady, your duck is dead”. ...

Math Destruction

At New York's Kennedy airport today an individual was arrested, later determined to be a public school teacher, trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a slide rule, and a calculator. The H...

Fast Corvette

A senior citizen picked up his brand new Corvette convertible and drove out of the car dealership. As he is going down the road, he decides to floor it up to 80 mph, enjoying the wind passing through the little hair he...

Generosity and Compassion

One evening a Scotsman was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road eating grass. Disturbed, he yelled at his driver to stop and got out to investigate. He asked one man "Why are you eating the ...

Elephant Saved on Safari

1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from University. While on safari through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distr...

Traffic Signals

One sunny day Jake and John were driving down the road in Jakes car when he suddenly just drove through a red traffic light. John thought this was a bit odd. When Jake drove through the second red light, John decided to ...

Chemical Elements

Two new chemical elements have recently been added to the chemical table. Here is a description of there properties. Element Name: WOMAN Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there, can be explosive!) Physical Pro...

Grieving Husband

A man placed some carnations on the grave of his departed mother and headed back to his car. His attention was diverted to man kneeling at a grave headstone who was praying with profound intensity and repeating "Why did ...

Airport Fog

A pilot is flying a twin engine jet charter plane with a couple of very important executives on board. The pilot was coming into the Delhi airport through very thick fog with less than a few minutes to go when his instru...

High Tech Grocery Store

A new super high tech grocery store recently opened in Orlando, Florida. It has the standard automatic water misters to keep the produce fresh, but just before it mists, one hears the distant sound of thunder and the sme...

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